[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
[ << Previous 20 ]
[ << Previous 20 ]
|Friday, April 16th, 2010|
hello everyone, i am jymi. i have c-ptsd. i had a severe nervous breakdown a few years ago and i survived it and came out of it all much stronger.
this is an introduction video to my new youtube page, by my co-host of the page, mikele. i designed the background using my art and the user pic is one of my paintings. i have made a couple of playlists so far. one is of gender related songs, and the other is videos by trans musicians, poets and comedians.
the name of our page is t-hope. the youtube name is HopeForT. the idea is to give hope to trans and gender non conforming people who have lost hope.
i plan to make a playlist of songs that give hope, as well as maybe some funny videos for people to just let go of their pain for a minute and laugh. we are also trying to do vlogs, like this one and maybe other stuff. any suggestions are welcome. please make the suggestions on the youtube page, as i do not receive replies directly from lj anymore. check it out and subscribe if you are interested. peace
|Wednesday, February 10th, 2010|
|Monday, November 3rd, 2008|
Manifesto "Dyudrok" (The new psycho-reality)
(New Experimental Art)
1. In connection with the so-called global crisis art movement "POP-REVOLUTION"
(with the partial assistance of ART-REVOLUTION) and the artist Artyom Suslov
as well as several other free artists decided to create and implement the concept of
promotion of new art "Dyudrok."
The essence of this art is to re-establish the own way of avant-garde and surrealism.
Dyudrok included any avant-garde and modern art with blurred boundaries of genres and
unlimited fantasy of the author.
At the moment, the world economic system as well as world political system infringe
on the majority of rights, freedoms, opportunities and even hopes of man.
In this regard, decreasing the creative capacity of most people because
it decreases the level and scope of vision as well as the hope of translating its
into reality. At the time of the current crisis, a simple man forgets about high ideals,
he dreams at a low level. Dyudrok must to protect people from objective reality.
We believe - the objective reality that is at this level of crisis can and should move to
second place. We have the right to push it into second place if we give to the man a
new reality, which will carry the title of "objective". what is now "objective" will take
second place, or just disappear for a man.
Accordingly, we believe that everyone, regardless of his religious beliefs, his status in
the society, and regardless of the sanctions, which in future could be taken against the
"Dyudrok" has the right to go to the new reality at any time, partially or completely .
2. In our view, any human rights organization and any commission or authority that
to deal with human rights have the obligation to protect the right of every adult
in the transition, partial or complete, in a different reality.
3. If the man who entirely gone in a different reality according with the laws of this reality
can no longer be capable - this is his personal decision as the new reality does not contradict
the existing laws and not causing harm to anyone. Neither does the campaign leading cause harm.
No one is obliged to support the individual's life in old reality when he left a letter of
advice (note) with the signatures of witnesses.
4. The departure of a reality, as well as assistance in this, not an injury to humans,
because the only thing involved in this process - the human imagination.
But imagination does not belong to the bodi, as well as the experiments of the imagination
is not harmful for the rights of mental functions.
Accordingly, there is no room for any regulations on the intentional infliction of harm or death to
humans. Also note that imagination is fully subject to his master.
5. Relatives and friends of man who passed away in a different reality have the right to challenge the
decision through the courts or through the human rights organizations and and demand to return
him to the reality in which they are located. In doing so, c. 5 is partly contrary to the core - 1 item,
and further debate on this soil can be resolved only in the mutual agreement of the parties.
6. As Dyudrok is not limited with anything and depends only on the human imagination,
it does not conflict with any law and religious customs.
7. For the same reason (not limited and opportunity
giving own properties) Dyudrok and concept its development
and its veneration is not any organization or religion
nor the political movement. Because Dyudrok do not have its own symbols and beliefs.
The author of the Manifesto is Artyom Suslov.
Art - Movement "POP-REVOLUTION"
|Saturday, May 10th, 2008|
my name is littlewolf im a bipolar m2f , just wanted to say hi..... Current Mood: bouncy
|Tuesday, April 15th, 2008|
x-posted to ftm, genderqueer
An old friend called me the other day, wanting to know where to get a script for testosterone. She has my doc's card, but didn't want to search through her room for it (I lost some stuff over there one day). Since I know she can get the info easily enough, I went ahead and told her his name, but said I couldn't remember his number or where he is located. I also lied and told her that she has to have a letter from a therapist/psychiatrist saying she isn't crazy. She believed me, but seems confident she can convince her therapist to write her one. I'm worried because I think she can too.
She isn't trans. She doesn't even really understand what that is. The only reason she dislikes her body is because she was molested for most of her life. She *hates* all men.
She says she just wants a "new start". Fuck. If you want a new start, you move; you don't change into something you hate and can't stand to be around. For her, this would just be another form of self-injury.
I'm very worried about her. I don't know how, but she manages to get whatever she wants out of her moronic psychiatrist (which is usually things to get high with).
I don't know what, if anything, I can or should do. I've been thinking about talking to my doctor about it, try to convince him not to give it to her. I don't know if that is a good idea or not, or whether he would listen to me. And if he did, whether he would then stop being so ready to prescribe it to others who come to him in genuine need.
x-posted to genderqueer
|Friday, March 21st, 2008|
|Monday, December 3rd, 2007|
i don't really use livejournal much but figured this group might be helpful. I'm scott, im an 18 y/o ftm, i've been on T for going on 2 years and had my chest surgery. When i was younger i found myself in hospitals a lot because of being suicidal/ and being a harm to myself. i've been on a lot of different anti-depressents and mood stabilizers which basically helped me none, T is what has really helped me and made me feel more like a human.
I havent been to therapy in a long time and i dont take any more medication. i have 'major depression' and pretty bad anxiety. im doing a LOT better than i was in the past so i think that im doing pretty good, but to be honest im sick of having to struggle through everyday life. my anxiety makes it really hard to perform well in school, my attendance is horrible. im getting a prescription for adavan (anti-anxiety) so hopefully that will help. also it seems that whenever i lay down to go to sleep i have an anxiety attack.
i guess i just feel like, ive gotten myself this far, i do love myself, i have a better home environment now, and im trying damn hard to simply live my life, but with these issues holding me down im just curious how much can be overcome, or if im going to just have to "deal with it" forever.
anyway, im not trying to rant or bitch or anything. but if anyone has any comments/advice thatd be cool, cause im tired of being tired all the time.
scott Current Mood: exhausted
|Thursday, October 4th, 2007|
Hello, I'm new to the community, so...hello there. I'm not entirely sure what my diagnoses are, I didn't do a very good job at keeping track of the differing opinions, and med wise it doesn't matter much anyway because I've no insurance and I'm jobless. Had rotten experiences with the medication assigned anyway, and I don't tend to trust the competence in the medical field because of it. I've depression that seems to cycle, but beyond that no-one could seem to agree on anything, and the meds for it didn't work. I'd like to try and get some sort of workable treatment, but I'm not sure how to go about it (no one here does payment plans that I can find, and the last time I was treated I had insurance, which was several years ago) and how to tell if someone's just pushing me in the direction of a particular medicine because they can. It would also be nice if I could find a gender therapist where I'm at, but the closest one recommended is Philly, a good two hour drive and myself with no licence. Anyway, hello there! Any advice on weeding out a decent practitioner from a greedy one would be appreciated.
|Wednesday, July 11th, 2007|
i am on lexapro and wellbutrin. can anyone tell me what experiences they have had with wellbutrin? the good and the bad?
|Friday, June 22nd, 2007|
So it seems we're in agreement that this community is kinda dead, so let's get to know each other.
I joined trans_psych not because I am trans, but because I am queer, a survivor, a fan of all queer and trans folks, and I'm re-evaluating how I identify. Basically, genderqueer is a whole new concept for me and something that ressonates... but I'm not sure how yet.
Anyhoo, before I came out to myself I had some deep dark times which was treated by my family doctor with anti-depressants - a horrible experience which has made me swear off meds completely. (Who knew that Zoloft could cause so much damage?) I only came to terms with being a survivor in my mid twenties, and dealt with PTSD, flashbacks, body memories etc. One of my gf's was bipolar, and while dating her I realized I have the same manifestations of hypomania, it was just never severe enough to cause me to not show up at work long enough to get fired, so I'd never sought medical help and I'm honestly afraid to because I know they're going to throw meds at me. The ups are fantastic, but the downs are pretty crushing, and it seems to synch up with SADD which was really brutal this year.
So if you'd like to share, I have some questions:
Does anyone else here experience hypomania? How do you deal with the highs without making too many rash decisions? How do you get through the lows?
What are your experiences with meds? Have you found anything that's worked? Has it improved the quality of your life or does it merely make continued living possible?
Has anyone found natural alternatives to have any effect? I've been considering St. John's Wort to take the edge off the down times. I don't particularly want to take the edge off the up times but I find I get really spendy and then regret it later.
I cope during the worst of the down time by taking two weeks off to help me rejuvinate. It helps, but it feels like a waste of vacation - taking two weeks off just so I can cope with the six weeks before Spring.
Thought? Suggestions? Anyone else like to share? (Should I have started this thread with "Hi my name is Flyingdogs and I'm a ...... well, I don't kow how to finish that sentance anyway. :)
|Thursday, June 21st, 2007|
Criminalization of Trans & Queer People; Trans & Queer Prisoner Support
x-posted to various queer- and trans- related communities, faggosaurus
, possibly others.
if this is deemed inappropriate for one reason or another, let me know and i will delete it.
this is currently incomplete. will update this ASAP. please suggest stuff to add if you think of something.Note: Some of the stuff that's listed may be triggering for survivors of physical and/or sexual abuse, recovering drug addicts.
these are notes from a workshop on Trans & Queer Prisoners Support that i went to tonight at the DC Infoshop. i got there late, so i don't have everything written down.( Criminalization of Trans & Queer People - notesCollapse )
these are notes on Trans & Queer Prisoners Support and why it's important. again, these are incomplete, and i will update the list ASAP. feel free to suggest things that you think i should add.( the importance of Trans & Queer Prisoners Support - notesCollapse )
Lastly, here's a (possibly incomplete) list of things that those of us @ the Infoshop workshop tonight were considering, regarding setting up a group for supporting trans & queer prisoners.( Trans & Queer Prisoners Support - DC Infoshop - IdeasCollapse )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Any kind of queer- and trans- related prisoners info, general prisoners support info, prison (and prisoner) statistics, anything like that that you can provide will be very much appreciated!!
Thanks in advance!
|Wednesday, June 20th, 2007|
Hey everyone, my name's Aidan and I'm a FTM with bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and sensory integration dysfunction (google it).
So, if the community's not dead, hi everybody!
|Wednesday, May 16th, 2007|
|Tuesday, May 8th, 2007|
|Thursday, April 5th, 2007|
Anyone know how to find a good gender therapist without just going through the phone book listing of therapists and asking if they know anything about trans patients?
I tried looking online- the transitional male and such sites- but could only find one for my city.
I saw another entry several places, but no one had any contact info except that they were in Texas somewhere.
This is the one without contact info:
Dr Carpenter, D.O.
Dr Michael Noss, D.O.
Denise Morris Executive Director
Offering complete, cost-effective service for the gender community. Serving gender dysphoric people, TVs, TSs, and the gender curious.
Services include: Psychiatric evaluation, Gender Dysphoria counseling, endocrine treatment (hormones), individual and family counseling, pre- and post-op physical exams, full medical treatment, complete laboratory services, surgical referrals & legal liaisons.
Anyone have any ideas or know of anyone in the San Antonio, Texas area?
|Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007|
I just joined ever_perceived, which seems to have a lot of posts. One of them (actually, several) had the following test, which I just couldn't resist.
Perhaps not the best quiz to take, though I answered truthfully. I looked up the link for Cyclothymia and it read:
Cyclothymia is a mild form of bipolar disorder. It is characterized by mood fluctuations that shift between depressive and hypomanic phases. Cyclothymics do not experience the extremes of major depression or manic episodes.
The depressive or hypomania symptoms of cyclothymia may last for a few days to several weeks at a time, with brief intervals of normal mood in between. Personality changes are often evident to family and friends. Individuals who have a stable mood for longer than two months at a time are not likely cyclothymic. Symptoms may be mimicked by substance abuse, borderline personality disorder, or other mood disorder. A family history of depressive or bipolar disorders increases the risk.
Symptoms of Cyclothymia
- Excessive confidence and self-esteem
- Reduced ability to concentrate, easily distracted
- Sleep difficulties, excessive energy
- Heightened irritability
- Reduced inhibitions, may make foolish decisions
- Hypomania lasts between several days and several weeks
- Feelings of inadequacy, low self-confidence
- Difficulty falling asleep, unrestful sleep
- Fatigue, lack of energy
- Negative thinking, feelings of guilt and sadness
- Loss of interest in formerly enjoyable activities
- Depression lasting between several days and several weeks
The cycling between phases must be present for at least two years for a diagnosis (one year for teenagers). Work and family life are often negatively affected by the shifting moods.
Golly - that sounds about right! Current Mood: surprised
|Wednesday, March 14th, 2007|
I've been pissed off for the last week or so with people calling me "sir". I normally wind myself up in knots over this, especially when I have low self esteem, which with chronic depression, is periodically the case.
( The DetailsCollapse )
What set me off today was being called "Sir" by the young attendant behind the food counter at "The Bar on the Hill" at university. I was immediately annoyed, snapping back "That's Ma'm, not Sir!" Still in a bad mood I went over to NUSA to eat the meal I'd bought. Popped into the "Queer Space" room and there were some other women in there talking about doing a zine about "homophobia". Well, I had a chance to vent about stuff, and will probably contribute to the zine.
So I guess what I need is a bit of feedback here. Am I really too sensitive about this? Never had a good response to such "mistakes". The worst of it is that I feel that I "ought" to be able to rise above this sort of shit. Am I being realistic, or just too sensitive? Current Mood: confused
|Monday, February 26th, 2007|
The recent questions about issues having to do with mental imbalances and the process of transition made me wonder- what do ya'll think about how such disorders affect or have affected your awareness of being trans, or even gender variant in some way? ( Overly long relevant personal infoCollapse )
By the way, hi. I've been observing for awhile, just starting to come out of my shell and want to talk. Current Mood: curious
hey i saw a link to this community on the general ftm community made by knoah & thought it might be good to join.
so, uh, hi. my name is aylen. i'm a trans-identified guy who is pre-t and everything else. i'm currently trying to get treatment for some as-of-yet undiagnosed mental health issues that includes anxiety, occasionally hearing voices & seeing hallucinations, general unpredictability & this feeling that everything is pretty much meaningless & doesn't really matter. Tentatively I've sort of diagnosed myself as bipolar with psychotic tendencies, but well, I guess we'll see. And I totally can relate to the post that was made wondering about mental illness that can relate to gender dysphoria, because I have a lot of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder, too.
Oy, enough of that depressing story. Anyway, hi.
I'm not sure if I am going to say any of this right, but the first time I went to a psychologist who specializes in trans issues, she said that you have to go through 2 years of therapy before you can start T. Alright, fine, I understand that, but she also said it's to make sure the person doesn't have any mental disorders that would hinder the process. I saw her almost a month ago and haven't gone back because I am kind of confused about the whole thing. I have to fill out paper work about my background, and 4 years ago I was in a "mental institution" for 22 days, and had therapy for a year after that. I was branded with a few different psychological disorders such as bipolar, severe depression, borderline disorder, etc. etc. I really don't recall the rest. The only time I took meds was in the hospital. Besides that, I'm sure any doctor who saw me now, would agree that I am 110% percent better, and basically "free" of any my past issues. So, my question is, if you have a PAST of mental disorders, does that slow down the process of being able to start T?