Tell us about the OCD! I'm a scrupulosity-numbers-touching-religious rituals-repeating-somatic symptoms-intrusive blasphemous and sexual thoughts-avoiding evil images/numbers/words/thoughts-ordering guy. You?

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pretty similar, possibly. let's see.. avoiding 'bad' thoughts, people, objects - mostly thoughts these days - and hoarding 'good' things have always been really big for me. but it's not good/bad along any religious or moral lines, rather, scary thoughts, thoughts of disaster, thoughts of negative sexual situations, or even people i just don't like (my parents, once upon a time), objects related to those things/people/thoughts...

but i don't wash or worry about germs, instead my 'purging the bad' involves clenching teeth, breathing out, trying to 'push it out,' kind of... sometimes these have gotten so bad it's near-constant during the day. i've always tried to make it so other people don't notice, though. it's so weird and embarassing.. i've never even told a therapist about it. espcecially bc a lot of the bad thoughts really embarass me. especially the sexual ones. OF COURSE i don't want that weird negative sexual thing, it's out of fear that the image pops into mind, but, i hate it.

ugh. anyone else?

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I actually also do a breathing thing to "purge" the bad thoughts. Also moving my tongue around in my mouth. (I get these thoughts that I'm mouthing "bad" words secretly, so I "push" them out with my tongue. All while my mouth is closed, of course.)

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Yea, GAD -> Panic Disorder -> OCD is pretty common with trans, maybe universal even...

I broke the worst of the OCD after I transitioned... I still get haunted by the occasional nasty thoughts but I just shrug them off now... it's not like I'd ever act on them so it doesn't really require my concern...

The disaster/world-ending stuff is history. Frankly, I don't care if the world does go to hell, I'll just pull up a seat and watch =)

Same with my panic... if I'm going to die, then that's just fine with me... If I live, then that's okay too...

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really? i've wondered it T might help minimize anxiety. beyond just the 'whew, i feel more comfortable with myself'... but if the hormone itself, as it's reputed to have an emotion-numbing effect so some degree, might for some people also dial down anxiety. what do you think?

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I seriously doubt that those diagnoses are universal with transpeople. Even on this community, there are people without any one of those diagnoses. I bet that even a casual survey of the ftm group would find that transpeople exist without any mental health diagnoses (other than GID, of course).

To James: T does help some people with anxiety and depression, as seen by people's comments on various ftm forums. Of course, that's often when the anxiety and depression were due to gender issues. For me, T significantly increased my anger levels. I have a very short temper now. I'm still not physically violent, but it's harder to control.

As far as your issues, I think talking with a therapy will help you sort out what's related to gender and what's not. Also, drugs help the biological aspect. And if you transition, that will help the issues that stem from gender dysphoria. But, as you know, transition won't solve all mental health issues. I still have OCD, and it ain't goin' away.

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thanks for your thoughts.. i do have a therapist and am on meds, i'm just curious if anyone's experienced significant changes in anxiety or other feelings of being oversensitive, worries, fears, etc, after being on T.

i have a pretty bad and even violent temper now, so i worry about that end, too. i guess this is one of those, you won't know until you try, kind of questions. thanks.

(grumble grumble.. stupid ocd.. grumble... you know, even my dog has panic attacks. like father like daughter i guess)

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